Unconditional SELF Love
It's February 15th, the day after Valentine's Day. I think it's awesome that we have a day to celebrate LOVE. I was with my husband, received beautiful roses and heard from my family and friends. I am blessed and grateful.
But this year, there is a different kind of love that has me still pondering the day after Valentine's Day. The LOVE I am talking about is the love I have for me... Self-Love. It's become a word we throw around, but what does it actually mean?
For me, I believe the greatest love we can strive for is that elusive thing called Unconditional Love. But what does it really mean to love something unconditionally?
When I envision this, I think of my children. When I close my eyes and think of the love I have for them, I know that I love them with every fiber of my being. I know that I love them without a single doubt that no matter what, the love will never end. I love them when they are thriving and accomplishing all their hearts desires AND I love them when they are struggling. I love them when they make choices I wish they hadn't. I love them when they are angry, sad, fearful, frustrated, overwhelmed, defensive AND I love them when they are joyful, compassionate, empathetic, brave, happy and living their best lives. It simply doesn't matter - I love them because they ARE. They don't have to earn it. It is their birthright.
So, I'm wondering, can I love ME that same way?
It's pretty easy to love ourselves when we are accomplishing goals, feeling good about our bodies, are happy and living our best lives. BUT, can we love ourselves when we are struggling? Can we love ourselves when we are failing at something or not meeting expectations? Can we love ourselves when we have learning curves and don't make good choices? Can we love ourselves like we love the people we love most in the world?
That is SELF-LOVE. That is unconditional love. I don't have to earn it. It is my birthright.
I had an opportunity to put this to the test this week. I made a choice that I wish I hadn’t. I had a moment of going into negative self talk and beating myself up for not knowing better. And then I stopped myself and had to do a check in with the part of me that was hurting. What I realized is that it wasn’t the choice I was hurting over, it was the fact that I expected myself to be better than that. I was shaming myself for not getting it right. Fortunately, I have tools for these moments, and I was able to stop and ask “Is this what I would say to someone I loved who was in the same circumstance? Would I be telling my children, for example, that they should know better, and how stupid they are for making the choice?” The answer is, OF COURSE NOT. So, why would I say that to ME? Why would I think I deserved to be talked to that way?
So, what I wish for all of us on February 15th and EVERY day, is that we learn to love ourselves in the wholeness of who we are. That we learn to love ourselves because we are precious beings. That we learn to love ourselves in the easy times AND the hard ones, in times of struggle AND in times of celebration, in times of making good choices and in times of regret. That we learn to love ourselves just because we ARE.
What is one action you can take today to love yourself unconditionally? Perhaps you can forgive yourself for something, or give yourself the gift of your attention. Perhaps you can just sit and reflect on all the ways you are worthy of love. Start today with just one small action by asking yourself, "What is the most loving thing I can do for ME today?" and then do it!
CHOOSE to love YOU (unconditionally)!
Xx